We are leaving for Boston this weekend. I have been really thinking about it all week. It really makes Jack’s heart problem very real. I had a scare last week...I thought he was sleeping to much so I took his O2 and it was way low. I freaked out, call Brian at work, and began to cry. Every thing is ok. The O2 monitor just was not on tight enough, but I was a mess for several hours!! I think everything just hit home. That something is going to happen to my baby. I forget about his heart when I am with him. He just looks and acts so healthy. I just want him to be “normal!!” It is hard enough figuring out the life of a baby...is he eating too much or too little...is he sleeping too much or too little...that when I add his heart into it sometimes it is just too much. I think the worse part is, I can’t just “fix” his heart. I know as he gets older, I will think about it less and less, but it will always be there. It is not something that will be “fixed” with one surgery and we get to move on.
I am looking forward to meeting Dr. Breitbart and talking to him about our surgical options. I am a little nervous about having Jack put to sleep while they run all the test. He is just so young!!! Please pray that the doctors get some really good pictures of his heart and they get a clear idea which surgical procedure will best fit Jack. Please pray that Brian and I handle everything with courage. We leave on Saturday and return late on Tuesday. I am so thankful that we do not have to get on a commercial airline and that my aunt can come to the doctor’s appointment with us. I will keep everyone posted.
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